My Life Without Children

I decided at 8:30 tonight to re-pot my plants. It was a nice evening, still a little warm, but a perfect time to get them done. Once I was done I poured a little miracle gro into a watering can, when I turn around there is a huge wasp bee type thing flying towards me, I pick up the broom to swat at it. Now as most of you know, I was not given the gift of gracefulness (I'd blame my mom but in her hay day she was a baton twirler, so I can't really blame her) By the way, as a side note my mom turns 50 next Wednesday, so please call or email her! Anyway back to my story, now armed with a broom in my left hand and a watering can in my right I start swatting away at this big ugly waspy bee thingy. Only I'm right handed, so instead of swatting with the boom I'm swatting with the watering can full (well not anymore) of miracle gro. I'm now covered in miracle gro, it's all over Polly, the deck, the patio window. And the bug flies away....laughing at me.

You would think after that I would come inside, but no, I decided to start staining the deck, with my dog. Now Polly is a good dog, very rarely does she run away, when she does it's next door to see her boyfriend (according to Sarah) Kramer (or Creamer as Grace calls him). As I was working on the railing, at the bottom of the steps, some people (new people) came out of their house and Polly came running down the steps towards me and the bucket of stain. Well as I mentioned, I'm not graceful, in fact if I didn't have a child named Grace, I would have no grace at all. So as this white dog is bounding down the steps towards me and my bucket of stain I quickly try to move it. Fortunately I moved the stain in time for her to pass, unfortunately I was now wearing the stain.

So here I stand, in my back yard with a head full of miracle grow and a leg full of stain. My only moment of salvation was that it was 9:30 at night and no one could possible have seen what just happened.